Why Do We Fail With Our New Year's Resolutions?
Have you made a long list of resolutions but failed to keep them? Discover what causes you to give up on them and what steps you can take to create new ones.
We are officially one week into 2023! Most of us have set at least one goal or resolution that we would like to work toward this year, such as working to improve our fitness, achieving financial independence or simply reducing our time on social media; you know the drill.
While we all start the new year with a 100% commitment to our resolutions and try to stick to them to the best of our ability, most of the time we find it difficult to reach these goals as the year progresses. In fact, the second Friday of January has been dubbed "Quitters Day" to mark the day when many of us abandon our resolutions.
Given that these goals have intrinsic purpose and meaning to us, it is critical to understand why we are unable to achieve them. So, here's your guide to understanding why our New Year's resolutions fail, as well as some strategies to consider when setting your goals.
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Why Do My New Year’s Resolutions Fail?
As we previously stated, with the new year, we all want to make changes in our lives. Despite this, statistics show that up to 80% of individuals give up their resolutions by February, and we need to understand why this happens. If you are a part of that population, let us look at some of the factors that contribute to your behaviour.
But first, let us consider why we are drawn to bring about change on January 1st. Mariana Strongin, a psychologist, states that the New Year gives us the opportunity to restart certain aspects of our lives that we would like to change or improve based on our internal reflections. Furthermore, the onset of the new year inspires feelings of hope and optimism about our future, which motivates us to take steps to better ourselves in order to be a part of it.
We too express these thoughts when making resolutions, don't we? While these initial thoughts and feelings are valid, experts urge you to consider the time you choose to act on your goals in order to achieve success. Starting on January 1st, according to psychologist Mellisa Burkley, can set you up for failure. This is because, by December 31st, many of us have had an exhausting year at home and at work, in the form of social gatherings and end-of-year reports, respectively. These are stressful situations which deplete our willpower, which is a finite resource.
Willpower deficits make it difficult to resist temptations and work effectively on our goals. As a result, by the time we get around to working on our resolutions, we have little to no willpower to work with.
Aside from timing, our mindset has a significant impact on our resolutions. According to experts, many of us approach our resolutions with an "all or nothing" mentality. This means that we regard our goals as absolute successes or failures. The disadvantage of this approach is that it does not account for minor setbacks such as missing one workout session or going slightly over the daily calorie limit. We see these shortcomings as failures in our journey and, as a result, abandon our path to the goal in the middle.
When starting out, it is critical that we first consider what goal we want to achieve. Creating broader goals, such as saving money or working out more, are difficult to measure and outline a plan for. Furthermore, while making a large change, such as learning a new language or drinking eight glasses of water per day, sounds extremely appealing, they are quite ambitious and necessitate the achievement of several smaller goals before reaching the final one. Finally, goals that are not personal in nature, that is, achieving them not only doesn't align with your interests but also doesn't bring you joy, are more likely to fail.
How Do I Stick To My Resolutions?
Now that we have learned the several ways our resolutions can fail, let us now look at the steps and approaches you can incorporate to make your goals more achievable.
a. Focus On One Goal at a Time
When we begin the year, we often create a list of several goals across different domains ( such as quitting smoking or spending more time with friends and family) and expect to improve in each one of them simultaneously. This more often than not results in us being stretched in different directions and being unable to make substantial progress toward any one goal.
To avoid such outcomes, experts recommend that we identify a goal and devote all our attention towards achieving it. This is supported by research, which shows that people who set multiple goals demonstrate lower commitment right from the planning stage, subsequently affecting their goal's successful completion.
However, if you prefer multitasking and focusing on multiple goals at the same time, then there is a way for you as well. Researchers propose that rather than viewing your resolutions as distinct from one another, you should consider them as all contributing to a common goal, which can help you achieve them.
b. Consistency and Small Steps
The fact that you have identified a habit that you want to change and improve is a step in the right direction. However, expecting all of your bad habits to vanish in the month of January, on the other hand, is extremely unrealistic.
Any type of habit change requires a significant amount of time to produce noticeable results. John Norcross, a psychology professor has dedicated his time to learning more about resolutions. According to his research, it takes about 3 months for any change we make to become a part of our routine, and only a small percentage of people make it past the 6-month mark and stick to their resolutions for the rest of their lives.
Consistency is essential for achieving this type of long-term change. It is critical to be consistent in order to achieve your goal, whether it is writing 500 words per day or reading a book once a month. We can also boost consistency by breaking larger goals down into smaller, measurable milestones; achieving these and documenting our progress will motivate us to keep going for the rest of the year.
c. Personalise Your Goal and Write It Down
Lastly, try to work towards new behaviours that are meaningful to you. Considering you would be working towards reaching that goal for the near future, ensure that it is something that brings you joy. Reflect on what motivates you and your previous experiences with resolutions to create these personal and meaningful goals.
After that, write down your goals. According to Dr. Gail Matthews of the Dominican University of California, writing down our goals increases our chances of success by 42%. This is because of an effect that neurologists call the “generation effect”. This effect suggests that we are more likely to remember information that we generated rather than information that we read.
d. Tackle Setbacks and Obstacles
The path towards becoming a better version of yourself is a long and arduous one. You may face several challenges along the way, which is completely normal. There will be days when you cannot eat within your caloric limit or use Instagram for 10 minutes longer. It is critical that you accept responsibility for your actions while avoiding self-blame, that you analyse your behaviour, and that you learn from it. Before deciding whether or not to get back on track, you can revise your strategy, set boundaries, and even seek help from friends and family.
Let's be honest. Following through on our New Year's resolutions can be difficult at times, especially in our hectic lives. While we strive for our #newyearnewme, it comes at the expense of consistency, personalization, and focus. But if we focus on these aspects, achieving our goals becomes a piece of cake. If you are on the verge of abandoning your resolutions, I hope this article has helped you reconsider your approach.
Happy 2023! We hope you adhere to your resolutions perfectly.
References Dalton, A. N., & Spiller, S. A. (2012). Too Much of a Good Thing: The Benefits of Implementation Intentions Depend on the Number of Goals. Journal of Consumer Research, 39(3), 600–614. https://doi.org/10.1086/664500 Matthews, Gail, "The Impact of Commitment, Accountability, and Written Goals on Goal Achievement" (2007). Psychology | Faculty Presentations. 3. https://scholar.dominican.edu/psychology-faculty-conference-presentations/3 |